I’m going to Vietnam. I’m going to get some clothes custom tailored for cheap and make my way into the jungle with expensive cameras. Then I will visit cosmopolitan cities in Europe with my adorable North American accent and do what I was born to do: I am going to be a professional boob photographer.  I had kale the other day, it tasted like grass. I’m sure it would have been better with some sea salt sprinkled on it. I just can’t see myself shoving fistfuls of kale into my mouth like “mmmmmm kale….this is delicious”. Kale is expensive grass for humans to eat to sustain them through activities such as grocery shopping for other vegetables because this one just didn’t cut it.  Watched “Young Adult” and it was 2 hours of emotional nails on a chalkboard with Charlize Theron. Spent the duration of the film cringing, yelling “NOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” at the screen. It’s her doing/saying the worst possible thing in every situation. It gave me the heebie jeebies. 5 stars (for the public meltdown and her never learning anything from her mistakes).  Watched “Mansome” the documentary about beards and male grooming, and basically shuddered through that. Couldn’t finish it. Just completely lost interest after the guy with the ZZ-Top beard explained his regimen of diet and training en lieu of the upcoming beard pageant. Zach Galifianakis and other featured comedians might have made “Mansome” enjoyable for some folks, I hated all of it equally. I’m not smoking cigarettes but this morning I woke up standing over the sink in a half sleep, eating handfuls of shredded unsweetened coconut. Ate half the bag like a zombie, eyes adjusting to the darkness until something in my head went “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” and I snapped out of it. I love coconuts.
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I’m going to Vietnam. I’m going to get some clothes custom tailored for cheap and make my way into the jungle with expensive cameras. Then I will visit cosmopolitan cities in Europe with my adorable North American accent and do what I was born to do: I am going to be a professional boob photographer. 

I had kale the other day, it tasted like grass. I’m sure it would have been better with some sea salt sprinkled on it. I just can’t see myself shoving fistfuls of kale into my mouth like “mmmmmm kale….this is delicious”. Kale is expensive grass for humans to eat to sustain them through activities such as grocery shopping for other vegetables because this one just didn’t cut it. 

Watched “Young Adult” and it was 2 hours of emotional nails on a chalkboard with Charlize Theron. Spent the duration of the film cringing, yelling “NOOOOO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” at the screen. It’s her doing/saying the worst possible thing in every situation. It gave me the heebie jeebies. 5 stars (for the public meltdown and her never learning anything from her mistakes). 

Watched “Mansome” the documentary about beards and male grooming, and basically shuddered through that. Couldn’t finish it. Just completely lost interest after the guy with the ZZ-Top beard explained his regimen of diet and training en lieu of the upcoming beard pageant. Zach Galifianakis and other featured comedians might have made “Mansome” enjoyable for some folks, I hated all of it equally.

I’m not smoking cigarettes but this morning I woke up standing over the sink in a half sleep, eating handfuls of shredded unsweetened coconut. Ate half the bag like a zombie, eyes adjusting to the darkness until something in my head went “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” and I snapped out of it. I love coconuts.

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